yeah so katie left her guitar hero here and i was just playing it and it was annoying the hell out of me. i can barely get on the top 5 leader board thing on any song on easy or medium. why? because katie and tom both have the time to sit here all day and play and get scores that in order for me to beat them i would have to play the song almost perfect and hit the star power in just the right places and if i do happen to beat one of there scores they go back on and beat the song after me and get higher than me. whats the point of playing the game then?? the highest i can get any song is 3rd place. And as i'm playing i'm constantly thinking of how when we're all playing Katie always has to comment on how much I suck at the game and how much better her and tom are. like it makes me less of a person because i'm not as good as they are. more like I have a job and can't afford to sit around playing it all day.

sorry bout that just ranting...

wow i haven't posted one of these since right after Christmas. alot of stuff has been going on and surprisingly its all good....i know...weird huh?

First off on the 28th Me, KT and Tom went to the John Valby concert. Which was fucking awesome! got drunk of course and almost lost her voice again. He did all his normal songs and more. He played 3 sets this year where as last year he only played 2 sets. KT got her picture taken with him and got a her t-shirt signed. She got a little crazier than I expected, grabbing on this one girls boobs and stuff but it was fun so its cool.

The next night I come home expecting to hang out with Tom and Katie and play some Guitar Hero. But i get home and theres an extra person in the house. This girl that I messaged on Myspace and who KT also talked to is over. Her name is Dannie and knowing me I was my usual shy self at first and she was shy too. But eventually we ended up talking after much pushing and prodding from KT and Tommerz. Now because of all that we're going out and its been great. We have a lot in commmon and she is awesome, not too mention pretty hot. We've been together pretty much every other day and its been nothing but fun the whole time.

The one morning she came over in the morning after she got out of work and brought me breakfast, a peanut butter omelet, with sausage, toast and an orange. I know peanut butter and eggs, doesn't sound too good right? It tasted alot better than I thought. Then tonight she brought me some Split Pea Soup which I love but haven't had in a while. she is awesome and i feel really lucky to have her. I already told katie this but if her and tom hadn't been there pushing for us to talk or sit next to each other I probably would have sat there the whole night and not said anything cause thats how shy i can be. so thx kt and tom, you guys rock!

At work I've been getting good things said about me from all over, which is weird for me to get compliments about anything. Jim got fired last week over something that honestly he brought on himself and Ed the DM actually called to thank me for picking up the extra hours....whoa!!! I've never gotten a thank you from anyone other than my store manager weird! I'm still hoping for that raise and found out i get paid for christmas even though i didn't work. we're also getting remodeled. they want to make the store more couples freindly. they're putting in carpets, slat walls and paitning the store. not to mention getting rid of the bumfights dvds.

well....thats all for me folks

first off

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

well Christmas is gone til next year...wish the snow was

Christmas was pretty good this year, better than i expected actually, spent Christmas Eve and Christmas with my mom, sister and John (mom's bf)and his family. I don't see then too often so i get kind of shy around them but overall the two days were cool. Monday i had to work 1st shift and go right to my moms then we went to Johns parents for dinner, sat in front of the fire and watched Christmas movies. We had Meatloaf for dinner and I love Meatloaf. Then Tues morning after getting up at 7:30! (way too early) we opened presents. Here's what I got.

(from Mom and John)
Comforter(Green Plaid)
Frying Pan
Fire Extinguisher
CD Player
Wallet
Bowls
Funnels (same ones i got at walmart a few weeks ago)
Hoodie
Sabres shot glass
ashtray
candle
A Christmas Story DVD

(from my Sister Lauren)
Trnsformers DVD

(from Katie)
Transformers t-shirt
Fantastic Four t-shirt

after opening presents we went back to Johns parents house for breakfast and they all opened gifts. i took like 4 hours or something. we went to Johns sisters house for dinner (lasagna) and thats about it. it was better then i expected christmas to be considering what happened last time around this time and being the first christmas since my dad dying. But i got to spend it with family and thats all that matters i guess.

two word

Dirty Dancing

This movies is the bane of my existence. When i was little I had to deal with my sisters obsession with this shitty fucking cheesy movie but now I have to deal with it all over again. Katie seems to think that everyone she knows should see this movie. I've had to watch it 3 times in the last year and thats 3 times too many. This of all times she wants me to sit and watch it with her and her boyfriend, Tom. Yeah thats really gonna happen. I might not seem like it, but I have a lot more dignity for myself then to watch some romantic piece of shit with a couple. Talk about being a third wheel. Story of my life is being the third wheel and most of the time I don't mind it. But I draw the line at watching romantic movies with couples.

Other than that I went Christmas shopping with KT and Tom. My shopping was already done so i was basically just there for moral support which is needed when KT goes shopping. First I'll say this...I HATE THE MALL THIS TIME OF YEAR! Too many damned morons out there. First we went to Steve and Barry's where she got my gifts (Fantastic Four 1st Appearance of Dr. Doom comic cover t-shirt and a Transformers t-shirt! woot!) Then we went looking for Tom's gift, Spencer's and Hot Topic to name a few places. Strangely enough this was my first time in Hot Topic. First thing I see walking in there is a bunch of Hello Kitty and Invader Zim stuff. What is the deal with these 2 things? I know Invader Zim is a cult thing from the guy who writes Johnny the Homicidal Maniac but what is with Hello Kitty? The band t-shirts they got in there are nice and I'll have to get some when i get my taxes back. After being in there for maybe five minutes and listening to KT complain about prices and everything else in there we went to Spencer's and they have a shirt in there i definetly want, Its a pic of McLovin's fake ID from Superbad!

So in the last week i got 3 new geek t-shirts to wear, bought myself a Punisher t-shirt and KT got me the 2 previously mentioned. Along with the 3 I already have (Spider-man, Green Lantern and Superman) I could geek out all week! If I ever get to a con I got shit to wear.

Wal-Mart was fun today too. The crowds weren't as bad and KT had almost everything done by the time I got in there (went to Tops by myself first).

KT and Tom took a nap earlier and I played some Guitar Hero 2 and I got 100% on Thunderhorse by Dethklok but I didn't let it autosave before turning it off and now they don't believe me :(

Current Mood: grumpy

As I write this it is snowing like fucking crazy outside. I ended up having to walk home from work with my bike and it sucked. The only good thing is that Cleveland is getting the same thing so the football game should be fun tomorrow.

For some reason I went on paperbackreader.com, the site I used to write comic reviews for and started reading through some of my old reviews(the last one ws in Jan 07) and I started thinking how much I actually miss being able to do that. It sucks though because I also realize why I don't do it, I can't afford to buy comics at the moment and don't if I'll be able to for a while. I used to like it mostly because I had people to discuss the comics and reviews with. I miss all of it really. Reading the comics, going to the shop, bagging and boarding all of it. Its a passion of mine and I can't do it anymore. The biggest thing I liked the most about it was that It occupied my mind. When I talk, read, write about comics I'm happy. Sure I still can talk about comics with Tim but with neither of us getting comics at the moment its talking about older stuff alot, which is fun but I like talking about current comics but thats just not possible at the moment. I download comics sometimes but its not the same as holding the issue in your hand and reading it. All i seem to do know is sit on the comp either on AIM or playing Diablo, I play PS2 once in a while but can't get into it.

Comics to me is a release, its a time when I can forget everything else and immerse myself into the universe, which ever one that may be (usually Marvel or Star Wars, sometimes DC). I don't have to worry about how shitty my life is when I read comics, I don't have to worry about my bills or work or anything I just focus on the X-Men or whoever even if its for only 15 minutes or so. I need to change this I need to either get a raise at work ( which according to my boss might actuallu happen) or get a new job making more money so i can get comics every week. I remember when I used to go to Queen City comics every Wed/Thurs and buy comics sometimes $30-$40 worth and spend the rest of the day reading them. I know its sad but i used to look foward to that. Reading them and figuring out which ones to review. Then going on yahoo and talking about them with Tim and Phil or in the Comic chatroom. Yeah I'm a nerd deal with it.

Current Mood: contemplative

soooo katie and tom and mike (elephantman) were over this week, tom and katie for like 6 days and mike for a couple days. it was kts b-day on the 6th and she got some good presents. me and joe got her Guitar Hero 2, Tom got her a Alice in Chains box set and Mike got her Superbad. WE spent a shit load of time playing Guitar Hero and me getting pissed off because KT was doing better then me. Its an awesome game and I'm gonna get the third one soonish. I got a little pissed off the one night and decided to box with my dryer amongst other things. jealousy/loneliness is a bitch sometimes. mike got the same way the one night and ended up leaving because he thought katie and tom were fucking in the "magic bedroom". apparently my spare bedroom is magical. funny thing is nothing magical ever happened to me in there...maybe some day...we watched Superbad which is an awesome movie.

MCLOVIN!!

WE also watched Spider-man 2, Hitchhikes Guide to the Galaxy and Kids (which i hadn't seen before) We tried watching some movie called Gummo but only watched the first couple minutes of it. I got a new video game to play, Arena Football, I'd rather have real football but this is good enough until i pick up Madden. The other night was the 15th anniversary of RAW. Its hard to believe that its been on for 15 years. I missed part of it cause of the Sabres game, but from what I did see it was great. just to see the older wrestlers and some of the stupid gimmicks from the past. Ted Dibiase in classic Million Dollar Man form, IRS, The Goon, Skinner even Hogan was there. It was a shame that some of the more popular people from years past weren't there but not much you can do about it. Guys like The Rock, Kurt Angle , The Outlaws, X-pac, Scott Hall and Kevin Nash should have been there. I was also suprised not to see and tribute to all the guys who died over the years. I might not watch wrestling as much as I used to but that was great to watch.

I can't figure out whats wrong with the Sabres. They have a ton of talent on that team but they're way out of the playoff race right now. yeah its only December but still. I think it might be time to make a trade. Maybe Afinigenov or Kalinin neither player has lived up to their full potential and Max seems to be more of a liability out there then anything. The one player that everyone seems to think should be traded has been surprising me this year. Kotalik has 8 or 9 goals most on the power play and all his assists are on the power play. I admit i was one of the people who wanted him moved last year but now i think he's a big asset to the team.

Now the Bills, THE MOTHER FUCKIN BILLS!!! I haven't been this excited for a game in a long time. Bills vs Browns! both teams in the playoff picture if the Bills win they help themselves alot. Even if they lose I have huge hopes for next year. Get rid of Losman and Price, draft a #2 reciever and maybe a pass catching TE and they should be good. The O-line is set and the D-Line has pressured the QB pretty good the last couple weeks. With everyone back next year the only questions on D are cornerback and linebacker. Crowell and Poulslusny are set at LB but I'm not sure about Ellison he might be too small. I'd like to see Greer be the other CB but maybe bring in another one just in case.

well thats it for me...until next time!

Current Mood: calm

I am so fucking sick of people not caring about how I feel or if something is gonna bother me or not. everybody when it comes down to it pretty much cares about themselves. But me? I always put myself last. I put everyone else ahead of me and what the fuck do it get for that? not a goddamn fucking thing. I'm tired of being that guy. sick of being the person everyone can count on. I need to start worrying about me and only me. I need to look ouit for myself and let everyone worry about themselves and just be fucking heartless. I'm done caring, done being the nice guy, nice guys get shit on, nice guys get treated like pure fucking shit.

FUCK OFF

sooooooooooo, KT, Tom and Elephantman came over the other night. I came home from work to find Tom drunk and rambling in the spare room half passed out. Katie was wearing her new Sabres vs penguins Ice Bowl hoody (I refuse to call it the "Winter Classic") which is gold and if you know katie its very WHierd seeing her wear anything but black some people might call her "goth" but then some people might not want to keep their balls :P Mike (Elephantman and KT were watching "Strangers With Candy" which is a great movie by the way. Katie and Tom couldn't stop laughing for some reason. It also seems that I've reacquired my high school nickname...Beaker...

KT's B-day is today (Happy Birthday!) and her, Tom and Mike are coming over again tommorrow, and Joe is stopping by friday. I know a couple of the presents she's getting and she's gonna love all of them. Should be a fun couple days. Oh and Mike is bringing his 360 over!

Current Mood: bouncy

yeah so i was sitting outside of work earlier tonight and something struck me. something that I've really been forcing myself not to think about for the last couple months. Today is exactly 10 months to the day since my Dad died...

I don't know what got this into my head tonight of all nights but all of a sudden my mind was flooded with pictures of that night. Of me talking to the doctor on the phone and him telling me he died. My step mom falling onto the kitchen floor crying when she realized what the doctor had told me. My dad lying on the kitchen floor not breathing and my trying to give him CPR. Telling my mom and hearing the little hiccup in her voice (even though the were divorced for probably 20 years at the time). The dread I felt about having to tell my sister. My sister coming over the next morning and hugging me for the first time in as long as I can remember and just both of us crying.

This time of the year was my Dad's favorite time of year. He loved the holidays and its going to be so weird not to have him around for them this year and for the years to come. He would get so into decorating the house for Christmas and looking forward to Thanksgiving dinner. Eating dinner and watching football on Thanksgiving.

I just hope that he is proud of me wherever he is and that he's happy that I'm living the way I want to and actually surviving despite pretty much everyone telling me I couldn't.

I've realized in the last week or so that for the first time in a long time I'm actually content with my life. The only thing I would change would be my job,I need to start looking really...

I think the biggest thing is that I actually have friends that I'm completely comfortable being myself around. Most of my past friends gave me a ton of shit about who I was and ridiculed everything I liked. They hated the fact that I was into comics, star wars and video games and took pleasure in putting me down. Now I really believe that the friends I have now like me for who I am, they don't care that I like comics and video games. It's a refreshing change from the past. I'm being myself and I'm having a lot more fun then I did with all my previous friends.

Well since its been a while since I've posted anything here I'll do a quick update on life in general. First I have my own place and I love it!!! I originally had a roommate who I got along with really well but then some shit happened that had absolutely nothing to do with me and after a month he decided to move out. Which I realize hasn't really been a problem I might have a little less money every month but I like living alone for now. I like my independence and my privacy. Oh yeah when I moved out I had to actually call the cops on my step mom cause she tried saying I owed her "storage fees" for having my shit in the garage for a couple days and that I couldn't have it until I paid her. So I called the cops on her.

I love living on my own,I can have anybody I want over my house and not worry about anything. I can listen to music whenever and loud as hell if I want. I got Digital Cable with G4 woot!! I got high speed internet and I'm getting DVR/TiVo. I've had so many people over here since I moved in and its great. Katie,Mike,Jeff and Dominic are pretty much welcomed whenever and are over here almost every weekend. The only small problem is I need to do my dishes more often.

John Valby in December!!!!

In about 2-ish weeks I'll know Katie for a year!!
seems like a lot longer...











JOKES SON!!!

love ya katie

being bored really sucks you know that?

I get bored and I end up sitting here thinking about all the things in my life that i've fucked up. All the decisions that had I maybe done something differently or not done something stupid that would have made my life better. Take school for instance, I had a free ride for college, my tution and books all covered by financial aid, and what do I do? I decide that its better to skip classes and just not show up because I didn't feel like it or because I would rather hang out in the Atrium ith my friends. I could have an Associates Degree in Business if it wasn't for that. Even in high school, yeah I finished 16th in my class as far as grades go but that was without even trying, if I would have tried who knows where I could have finished. I was always a person who could get by without studying and still get good grades but imagine if i would have studied? I could have gotten straight A's and maybe could have actually done something with my life instead of scraping by working at a fucking porn shop for minimum wage. But I was always so scared of not having friends that I sacrificed what I could have been for an extra hour of hanging out with friends. There are so many things that could have gone differently in my life and if they would have I would be in a completely different situation right now, I might not be happy (hell I'm not happy now) but maybe I'd be better off. Thats always been my problem, I know I can do something but I can never apply myself to actually do it. I would much rather take the easy way out than actually try to accomplish something. I keep saying I need to go back to school but I don't know if I ever will, mostly because I wasted my financial aid and when I actually tried at school I had to pay for it myself and I fell behind and still owe them money. When I was actually trying at school I had a 3.8 average and was passing everything. So I know I can do it, but I just don't. I need some reason to do it, I know I shouldn't I should just do it for myself but to me thats not a good enough reason. I need someone to give me that kick in the ass to do something. Hell I wasn't even gonna go to school if it wasn't for my parents, my aunt, my friends, hell even my friends parents telling me that I should go. And even then I didn't go for what I really wanted becasue i though it would be too hard. I wanted to go for something with computers, graphic design or something but instead I went for Business, just because to me most of that classes were common sense and I knew it would be easy. It's amazing how one thing can effect so many other things. If I would have finished school I would probably have a somewhat decent job right now, making some good money, probably have a car and my own place, but instead I have no car, a minumum wage job and I live with my stepmom. but on the bright side i might not have the friends I have now, i might not have met Katie, which means I wouldn' havemet Rich or Joe. I might not have ever gotten back into comics which means I never would have went into the comic chatroom on yahoo and became friends with Tim and Joe. So there are good and bad in every decision I guess but if i could combine both things together I would. The friends I have now with the person I could have been and maybe I would be happy. Maybe I wouldn't be so depressed, lonely or angry all the damn time. Maybe I wouldn't be me...

Current Mood: bored

so the Sabres lost, its over, the only thing I had to look foward to over these last 2-3 weeks is over, they had a great run, but losing makes me feel sick t omy stomach. Especially losing to Ottawa, I HATE OTTAWA!!! and it had to be fucking Alfredson that scored too, the only thing worse would have been if Chris Neil scored. Well i don't know what i'm going to do now. At least before I had a hockey game to look foward to 3-4 times a week. I don't watch baseball or basketball so yeah, whens football season start? I swear this city is fucking cursed when it comes to sports. The Bills and Sabres can't win anything ever.

Well on the bright side I looked at an apartment today. The place seemed pretty nice. One of the bedrooms is smallish. but besides that the place is cool. It has a fridge , stove washer and dryer and a kitchen table. Plus we would get full use of the attic with nobody else allowed up there.

I'm slowly realizing that i'm a very cheap person when it comes to spending money on people other than myself. I read some stuff that made me realize this. Plus I also realize that I need a car. I can't be taking the bus everywhere i go or riding my bike. Especially if I want to find someone. It just sucks because things cost alot of money and theres so many other things I want. Its not really wanting its more like needing. I hate being bored cause all that happens is I get down when I'm bored. Comics, video games and books and shit help me keep the boredness away. They help keep me sane sometimes. Thats one of the reasons I got back into comics a few years back was to stop myself from being so damn bored. If I get a car I'll just be a bored person with a car with no money to do anything else. oh well don't mind me, just rambling nothing for anyone else to worry about. back to the void which is my life.

Current Mood: bored

so i got switched at work from almost all 3rd shifts to ALL 2nd shifts, and 2nd shifts are a hell of alot busier soooo i got more idiots to deal with now. Like the guy who wanted to preview a 16 Hour long movie!! wtf! i looked at him like he was fucking crazy. we have a limit of between 3 and 4 hours for a reason. we don't want these guys sitting back there wacking it all fucking day! its bad enough the token idiots try to stay back there all day. they buy $5 in tokens which last about 30 minutes and they want to stay back there for 4 hours! and now we're told because sales are down that we can't yell at them anymore!? the best part of my job just got taken away! its fun to yell at the fucking perverts trying to stay back there to get a blow job from one of the other perverts. then you got the fucking people that ask you how much something is even though the price is marked on every fucking thing we sell with big bright stickers that say "buy this movie for $19.95" or however much it costs. but a good thing about work lately it's giving me the oppurtunity to stay busy, i've been working my ass off just so i'm not thinking about whatever has been going on. If i work i don't get down and if i don't get down i don't feel like shit so yeah...

i've actually been good with that lately. i figure what the hell is moping around gonna do to help my situation?why just sit around when i can sit around and drink!? JOKES! i'm not an alcoholic. i've been drinking here and there but no more than normal. so i got an apartment to go and look at on Saturday! woot! it's in Lovejoy and its a 2 bdrm, water and garbage included in the rent, and it has a fridge, stove, washer and dryer! I'm not gonna get too excited about it though, cause with the last couple places something will either be wrong with it or it won't work out. Like the last place we went to look at! HAHAHAHA!!! what a fucking joke this place was. the ad on craigslist said something about it being a cozy 2 bdrm and that the place will go fast....what the ad failed to mention was that the place had NO FUCKING LIVING ROOM!!!! who the hell wants to live in an apartment with no living room?? where do you drink? where do you play video games? where do you watch a fucking movie?

I want to go see Pirates of the Carribean 3!! but i hate seeing movies alone :( but i'll probably go see it anyway cause it looks damn good. i'm kinda used to seeing movies alone though, saw X-men 2 alone and Spider-man 3 alone, hell i saw American Pie alone. I'm sure it won't be the last time either, theres a couple other movies i want to see this summer so yeah. Fantastic Four 2 and Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix i'll probably see alone too. oh well thats life i guess....

Current Mood: moody

I'm so fucking sick of none of my friends getting along with each other. Never in my life have I had a time where all the friends I have get along with each other. People always have to find something wrong with other people. Is it so hard to accept people for who they are? I do it. I'm sick of people not getting along, I just want all my friends to be cool with each other, and I'm not talking about little fights here and there, that happens. I'm talking about people not knowing somebody and automatically hating them. This world would be alot better if people would get to know somebody before deciding if they like them or not. People always say how personality is important but yet they don't really mean it. If it was you would acutally take the time to get to know someone before judging them. This is why I don't like making new friends that often because I know for a fact that there will be somebody who I'm close to that won't like them. I'm the kind of person who just wants to see everyone get along, but does that fucking happen? fuck no. the way society is now people are just so quick to fucking judge somebody its annoying as hell. If I was so quick to judge people I probably wouldn't have any friends. Yeah I'm not perfect I judge people too, but I'd be willing to give anybody a chance to prove me wrong. Who cares if somebody is a whore or a geek or a pothead? If you judge someone based on that you could be missing out on somebody who could end up being a good friend. What they are isn't always who they are! People really need to get a grip on reality and fucking stop being so judgemental about people, the world would be a better place.

FUCK IT ALL
FUCK THIS WORLD
FUCK EVERYTHING THAT YOU STAND FOR
DON'T BELONG
DON'T EXIST
DON'T GIVE A SHIT
DON'T EVER JUDGE ME!

Current Mood: frustrated

i'm fuckin bored as shit right now. not much to do, which sucks but oh well. i'll probably watch a movie or play a video game or something. Maybe i'll play through Final Fantasy IX again...for the 3rd time, still haven't beat that game, must be my giving up thing...So I went to see Spider-man 3 yesterday, what an amazing movie!! my favorite of the Spider-man movies and probably my favorite Marvel movie! Which is surprising actually cause I'm not a huge Venom or Sandman fan and all the pics I saw of Harry before the movie we're a little weak but they pulled it off! My main problem with Venom has always been his overuse in the comics. He seems to show up all the time in a bunch of different books, even had his own series a while back and ironically i have almost the whole run.(maybe i'm more of a Venom fan then i thought) the thing that bugs me the most though is the same thing that bugs me about Batman....the fans. Just like Batman fans ; Venom fans think he is the greatest thing since sliced bread, and the that goes for the rest of the pointless symbiotes (Carnage, Shriek and whoever else spawned from Venom). But the movie nailed every single character, I did have a small problem with MJ though, thought she was too whiny. But the movie was great! And the trailers for Fantastic Four 2 and Pirates of the Carribean 3 have me excited for those too! Silver Surfer! Galactus! Captian Jack and Captain Barbosa! Worked sucked as usual today and the Sabres lost again...down 2-0 to the Sens, they better win the next game or it might be over...I'm not giving up on them, I have faith in their ability to bounce back, but if they lose the next game its gonna be tough to get excited for the rest of the games. LET'S GO SABRES! So yeah KT's not talking to me much cause of some stuff that i didn't tell her, she's pissed about it. I just hope we fan get past this and still remain friends, thats all i want. My Dad's birthday is coming up on the 26th...don't know how that day is gonna go, but I'm not looking foward to it. It's been 5 months and I wish he was here watching the playoffs with me. Everytime I watch a game i think of him and how excited he would be for the Sabres right now. I can picture him sitting in his chair watching the games. I miss not being able to give him a high five when the Sabres score and not being able to talk about the games with him before and after like we always did. I'm just hoping that maybe he can work a little magic where he is now and maybe help the Sabres out a bit...

Current Mood: bored

so its 2:53 a....still haven't been to bed, i'm bored as hell, feeling a little lonely and buzzing off of a 24oz labbatt. i don't know why i decided to write this but yeah i'm bored. go nothing to do all week but work so maybe i'll get some writing done and call some apartments. i just realized that all girls are the same, if they can get a "hot" guy to pay attention to them and they get all excited. makes you wonder what us ugly guys are even around for. oh yeah thats right, us ugly guys are the friends they can always count on. the guys that will be there when the "hot" guys hurt them. ah well what you gonna do? no point in trying to change the status quo. so yeah that was random and made me a little less bored for a while, i'm just rambling i guess. so yeah most guys are fucking retarded this is why i don't have many guy friends. most guys are so fucking obvious that their only after one thing from a girl they look like idiots. so yeah theres my rant for today! hope ya liked it.

so i haven't been sleeping well for the last 4-5 days. it sucks. i lay in bed for 1-2 hours before i fall asleep and then last night I fell asleep almost right away at about 6am, but then i kept waking up and finally at about 10:30 or 11 I just said fuck it and got up. So now I gotta go to work on very little sleep. i usually sleep pretty good but lately its been annoying as hell not being able to sleep. I hate not being able to sleep cause then i'm moody and shit the whole day. I don't know what is going on with me. Insomnia sucks. I'm probably just worrying too much about shit that doesn't matter. it happens every now and then. but so far i haven't found anything thats helping me sleep. so if i get pissy with anyone, now you know why.work is gonna suck tonight, fucking people better not piss me off tongiht. if anyone has any suggestions let me know, i need to sleep...

yeah i've been so fucking bored lately its driving me crazy. I don't know why but nothing seems fun anymore. I try watching movies and i can't get into them. My PS2 is still broken so i can't play that. Usually I end up just sitting online and hoping somebody wants to talk to me. Usually i'll talk to Katie or Tim or Rich. This weekend though Katie is in NJ visiting her and Tim hasn't been online at all yet this weekend. I finally got the stuff I need to fix my bike so i'll probably do that tomorrow. The Sabres won the other day which was good and the Bills had a good draft so far. They got my 2nd and 3rd choices Marshawn Lynch and Paul Polcaszny or w/e, I wanted them to take Patrick Willis but the 49ers snagged him with the pick before the Bills. I wish ths apartment shit was done cause then i'd at least have something to do with packing and all that. I'm just going crazy with being bored i guess. thursday i hung out at katies house with her and rich. we watched 3 Ninjas and drank some beer, I won't get into anything else that happened cause i really dont want to get into it. lets just say i got pissed off and left and leave it at that.

so i've been looking for an apartment lately with my soon to be roommate Rich. We found one that we like but the lady that manages the property is taking her sweet time to get things worked out. its pissing me off that its taking so long. i want to get out of here! i don't want to be living with my stepmom for the summer and i don't want to be moving when its hot as fuck out. hopefully this gets taken care of soon.

I'm working on writing my story right now for Unmasked Hero. I need a name for it but that'll come to me when i finish it.

Me and Tim were trying to find other people that could possibly do artwork for us and we found this one girl from France that wanted $1000 for 2 pieces! wtf $1,000!? for 2 pieces of artwork? your not Jim Lee or Alex Ross lady wtf.

The Sabres are through to the next round of the playoffs, they knocked out the Islanders on friday and got the Rangers next. I went down to the arena on friday for the Party in the Plaza to watch the game. It was cold as fuck and i'm the idiot that wore shorts (it was warm when i left the house). Plus i had to wait in line a half hour for t he bathroom. over 3,000 people there and they have about 4 portapotties! more please!

not much been going on lately...waiting to hear about an apartment tomorrow. if we get it me and Rich should be moved out by beginning of May! all i've really been doing lately is working...and watching too much TV cause i got nothing else to do. I've been good about not getting down lately. I figure shit happens and if theres nothing i can do to change it, why worry about it? hung out at Rich's house on sunday with Katie and walked away with injuries. bruises and scratched everywhere. we had fun playin monopoly and guitar hero 2 on the 360. i need to get that game! im trying to look foward to this summer cause i'll be moving out and everything but i see me just sitting around the house most of the summer and not really doing anything. oh well just like every other summer i guess. unmasked hero is going good we got the Asia project rolling and just came up with the follow up project. I'm really excited cause the beginning of my story became the overall concept for the project. not getting down lately but just get lonely sometimes, but then i think about whats actually out there and theres no point to it cause i compare everyone else to katie and theres nobody like her! eh well no point worrying about it though. maybe i'll try for a million dollars might have better luck.